she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
