You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
