sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
