I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
