508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
