I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
