so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
