You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
