I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
