Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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