I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
