is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
