He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
