so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
