Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
