i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
