tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
