it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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