my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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