my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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