I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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