I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
