I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
