Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
