wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
