Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This is my gift to your gina
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize