i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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