so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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