it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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