Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
