My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize