This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Princesses don't give blow jobs
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
