he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
