Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
MIDGETS
????
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
