Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
