tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
