I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
