gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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