The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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