So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
