Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
