i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
