it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
