You just made me feel so damn special
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
