apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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