Swine flu. Run for my life!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
