Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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