what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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