if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
