so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
