too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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