i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
