Your tits are I can't wait for
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
