Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
