No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize