Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize