hotel room ftw
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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