i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize