We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She bit a glass in half.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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