my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
