Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
