Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
