wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
