I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize