I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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