If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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