i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I've blown a few things in my day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
